We often find ourselves getting stuck in either love, business, relationships, or life. You are stuck because of limitless possibilities in front of you – which in turn causes self-doubt. Limitless is Feminine. Singular is the masculine. There is a split in your mind. A paradox that troubles you all the time. A war between your right and left brain. Thus the stuck-ness.
Opposite of stuck-ness is not clarity but progress. Progress beats perfection every time and overtime. One of the reasons you are usually stuck is you want perfect clarity and the perfect pathway to your goal without any doubts. You will not take action until you have such a perfect world where there are no doubts or questions in your mind that the action you take will take you to the vague goal that you have.
Doubt is good. Make it your best friend. Doubt everything because that builds trust. Trust in your own reality leads to more purpose and clarity.
But, for action to have clarity and purpose and have perfect resonance with your life you need to do the following:
Quit the thinking that there is perfectly resonant and aligned action!
The next action is never going to be out of perfect clarity and perfect vision and purpose. But, action can come from a place of better clarity and better purpose. I come from a coding background and in the tech industry, the first version of an app is usually full of bugs and issues. Being a developer for several years, I understand the feeling of releasing something that is not perfect. But, guess what? It does the job. It actually achieves some results in real life. You are stuck because you have limitless possible options and you want the perfect answer or clarity. Step aside for a few moments from all of that and look at following commonly used stuck-ness questions. I often find myself pondering for an amount of time I am not really proud of.
- Which option is better?
- If I do “x”, will I be happy?
- What am I doing? This is not making any sense.
- Why am I even doing this?
- Should I pursue “x” path or “y” path? And is even “z” realistic and will it make me (money/happy)
- Is “x” thing/person/relationship as perfect as it looks?
- Which is the best path with the least obstacles and most efficiency? I have to find the answer soon or else I will go crazy…
- I really love “x” but I also find good things in “y” so How do I measure which is right?
- Can I do both “x” and “y”?
- Should I quit now or wait?
- When will I know that it’s time to quit?
- What will my parents/spouse/friends/co-workers/children think of me if I do “x”?
And the list can go on. ….
If you can relate to any of these questions, it means you are stuck like I was and in some cases I still am. So let’s try the opposite of stuck-ness: Progress.
What is progress?
Progress = Direction + Results
- Which option will achieve “x” result in “XYZ”(one specific) area of my life?
- If I do “x”, will my level satisfaction and happiness on a scale of 1 to 10 move from “x” (current level) to “y” (goal level)
- I don’t know what I am doing. How can I know what I am doing in “XYZ” area of my life? Who can I ask or get mentorship from so I have one clear direction for next “x” months of direction in my “XYZ” area of my life?
- What is/are the “x” reason(s) for me doing this “XYZ” action/job/relationship? Which of these reasons is one reason that is worth pursuing this current path? What is one outcome that is measurable for me out of the “x” reason(s)?
- Should I pursue “x” path or “y” path based on this decision matrix and score? Will “z” be more realistic in income generation if I increase the weight of income rank in my matrix?
- Is “x” thing/person/relationship appearing me to as it really is based on my understanding of following “x” facts I know for sure: (list down those x facts which are facts and can be proven)
- Am I more aligned to my purpose of achieving “x” by doing “y” when I am taking this path?
- Same as progress question 5.
- What is my desired singular outcome by doing “x” and “y”? Is it possible to get that one outcome from only “x”? Or only “y”?
- Can I revisit this path x years/months/days later if I quit now and change my mind? How many minutes/days/months/years do I want to invest in making this decision and move on?
- What would one thing(deal breaker or Success factor) that will be a sign that this path is complete and I have come to an end of this journey? What am I avoiding that will give me pain? (Try fear setting exercise )
- What will my ten-year future-self think of me if I do “x”?
Stuck-ness = Not knowing yourself.
Unstuckness = Progress = Direction+results
The easiest way to achieve most progress is actually Play!
Because Play is knowing who you are and shamelessly being that.
We have heard “sing like no one is listening” and “dance like no one is watching”, but the one realization that makes me get unstuck is play like you are shamelessly badass!
Go and derive your own Unstuck-ness formula from below:
If Progress = Direction + Results
Then, Play = Progress powered N
Where N = Your nastiness or badass-ity or courage
Direction = Asking Progress questions and discovering your purpose. ( For the definition of Purpose = See my blog on purpose.)
Results = Measurable outcomes
Get unstuck now because it is way too easy to progress than to be perfect.